Covid Caught Me

Well, despite my best efforts, COVID finally caught me. It was honestly one of many heavy straws on the camel’s back this week. I survived a hellish travel day from San Francisco to Indianapolis. 2 cars, 2 shuttles, 2 planes, 14 hours… it was already going to be a long day.The luggage loader broke and my suitcase didn’t appear until 20 minutes after the last shuttle to Bloomington departed. I had a half dozen ride share apps ditch my ride. The guy that finally picked me up changed his mind as we were leaving and tried to kick me out of the car after midnight with no other options. He made me pay him cash to continue on, and I was fairly sure I was being abducted when he started acting really strange on the road. The Turo I rented canceled an hour before I was supposed to pick it up the next day. Oh yeah, and I wasn’t just tired and that wasn’t just a tickle in my throat.

The only way I could see this full time travel life working was if I was as Covid responsible as possible. I mask, test, and distance as much as humanly possible. I try to balance living my life and mitigating risk as much as possible. Between the fear of endangering the people around me, the logistical nightmare of Covid on my travel plans, and my craptastic catastrophic insurance, I really just couldn’t afford the risk with relaxing my Covid protocols.

I’ve tested for many many many reasons, and the slightest appearance of a symptom or exposure always prompted me to test. This was the first time since this whole thing started where I felt slightly off but it didn’t even occur to me that it could be Covid. I swore the tickle in my throat and weariness were from my travel, damp air and an open window. When I woke up from a nap with no voice at all, I put my mask on and started to worry. My little sister’s graduation was the next day, my whole family was coming in. Multiple sets of grandparents would be present. It was my first time trusting an OTC rapid test, but I had them and I was going to use them. The 15 minute test turned positive as SOON as the drops hit the card. I thought it had to be an error, there was no way, I didn’t feel any of the symptoms I’d been trained to track for over 2 years. I took another brand, the 10 minute test showed two double lines within seconds. I’ve never taken a pregnancy test, but I’m pretty sure I’d have a pretty similar reaction to seeing two lines on that stick too.

I started notifying everyone necessary- Kyra’s roommates who I had been sharing a house with, the people I house sat for and saw recently in San Francisco, the people I was to house sit for in NYC next week, my family so we could decide next steps. I didn’t take my mask off on the plane, and I took my meal break at the airport in a secluded corner, so I felt pretty positive, I didn’t cause a huge ripple en route. It was a lot of logistics, stress, and shame. I’ve tried so hard to keep everyone safe and keep this thing moving in a way that would impact the fewest people. I felt absolutely heartbroken that some mistake along the way would negatively impact such an important day for my sister and potentially endanger the rest of the family.

My family decided I could quarantine in the rental house with them if we took proper precautions. I took the room with an en suite bathroom, put a towel under the door, covered the air vents, opened the window, and wore a surgical mask unless I was actively eating and drinking. My grandma stayed two floors above me and I wasn’t about to risk it. My meals were brought to me if people were home, and I left the room twice to prepare meals while everyone was out. I double masked, used bags as gloves, and followed behind myself with clorox wipes and 24 hour lysol spray. We took every precaution we could think of to protect everyone at our rental house.

Just my luck, the livestream paused just as Kyra and her best friend were set to walk. So I didn’t even get to watch remotely as planned, but I got to attend her grad brunch through the magic of Facetime. We kept Kyra across the house from the fam to eat, otherwise masked, and crossed our fingers we kept everyone safe.

We decided to cancel my NYC Housesit that started Friday morning. They had a week to find someone new, and we decided that would be a lot less stressful for everyone rather than worrying about how long it would take me to test negative and be cleared to fly. My aunt was out of town for a few weeks, so I could still go to NYC as planned and stay at her empty apartment.

Once our rental ended, I took the remaining food and restocked rapid tests, booked a hotel near the airport to finish out my quarantine, and holed up for a few days. I had flights on hold everyday for about a week to get me there, and the hotel said just call the front desk to add days to my reservation. Of course once I got to the hotel I learned that another family member tested positive. Though it is scientifically impossible for me to have come in contact with my sister Thursday, her to come in contact with them Friday, and for them to show symptoms starting Saturday morning , I was still a nervous wreck waiting to see if we had any more positive cases in the family.

My symptoms were pretty mild. It started as a tickle in my throat, then I woke up with no voice and a little congestion. Then I developed the horrid covid headache, but it abated with a couple Advil and a nap. I cough and sneeze occasionally, but it’s pretty infrequent and minor. I can tell my body is still struggling to fight through it, I tire pretty easily, my sleep is out of whack, and there is a weird pang in my chest that comes and goes and freaks me out. I was too stressed about logistics and repercussions to get too worried about what could potentially happen to me, but so far so good.

I’ve had nothing but time to think while holed up and hiding away in a room. The news has been so bleak between the war in Ukraine and at home on reproductive rights, the pandemic, economy, gas prices, formula shortage and supply chain issues, Asian American violence, shocking uptick in antisemitism, the stripping of rights of the LGBTQ community, the climate crisis, hunger, housing shortages. It all weighs so heavily on my mind and heart. I think about the lengths I’m willing to go to protect the people I love and care about, and wonder why the people that are supposed to love us just as fiercely can’t be bothered to do the most basic things to preserve the mental, emotional, and physical health of others.

I can’t wrap my head around the lack of empathy running rampant around us. I was recently told that I was intolerant of people behaving differently than I think they should, and I’ve been told for decades that I have impossibly high standards. I honestly don’t think it takes rocket science or a bleeding heart to figure out how to act appropriately with COVID. We’re two and a half years into this debacle and most days it feels like we know less than we started. But seriously, how hard is it to err on the side of caution and look out for each other?

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It’s been 3 weeks since two of us landed in Indy with COVID, and so far, the rest of the family seems fine. No symptoms and negative tests. But then….my sweet cousin graduated Saturday… and tested positive for Covid on Monday. The cycle begins again. Be careful out there y’all. It isn’t over.